Christine's Rantings

Monday, November 29, 2004

Be Very Very Qwiet

Wow, where do I begin? I guess at the beginning as they say. My record of attracting the attention of freaks has reached new limits.

Yesterday evening, Madde and I went for dinner at a Vietnamese restaurant. We had a nice meal and decided to go for a drink afterwards. Madde picked the Irish pub closest to her house as the venue (I am sure you have already picked up on her love of Irish pubs - apparently there is a large Irish population here. I can think of 5 Irish bars I have seen). Anyway, we go in are enjoying our beer when we come to the attention of Klaus. A not so sober Danish guy who I think is a fisherman. His opening words to Madde as she is looking at the front of the sports section of the Sunday Times are 'My muscles look the same as the guy on the left' - Jason Robinson an English rugby player. She doesn't bite so he goes back to his pint. His next line is 'Have you ever been hunting for Anacondas?' He then launched into a long incomprehensible story about him being stopped by the police and asked if he had any animals on him so he had to put the anaconda in the harbour. He has stepped on the tails of 5 anacondas, they don't like that. At this point the bartender had to go to the other side of the room as he was laughing so much. Then he told me how the sheep that lived in the Steppes hopped to Denmark and every time they hopped they said 'eeep'. That is excluding the ones who flew. Then something about biting sheep but be careful not to bite the Arctic ones as they bite back. The thing he likes best about sheep is that they float. Next we learned that there are 14 penguins in Copenhagen and they only eat spaghetti. His personal penguin that he keeps 'under his wing' is a bit off his food at the moment and he is not sure why. At some point during the whole spiel, he decided that Madde and I were lesbians because we were both wearing stripey sweaters and told this to a lady that came up to the bar. His mate then decided to get in on the conversation and told me that I should move to Greenland as apart from the fact that practically everyone there is an alcoholic, it is a nice place. At this point I went to the bathroom and luckily while I was there they left. But not before telling Madde that they wanted us to come along with them to another bar that would be full of people from the same place as them.

The next group to sit next to us were Irish bartenders one of whom decided I was a Newfie.

Sorry this is a bit that only the Canadians will get;
The best part of the evening was that there was a group of musicians in the corner jamming and one of them was playing 45 Years by Stan Rogers. I stopped him and asked how he knows Stan's music and he said he has all his stuff and his brothers stuff too. I told him I was at one of the tribute concerts and he said he has that CD too! He loves almost all East Coast music except for Ashley. He lived in Florida and met lots of nurses from the Maritimes while he was there. He has played in St. John's. Very cool to hear and Irish guy playing Stan Rogers in a pub in Copenhagen.


Sunday, November 28, 2004

Cold But Happy

Well hello, I am still in Copenhagen. It is considerably drier than it was on Friday but it is also considerably colder. I am definitely getting a preview of my visit home.

I left you on Friday evening. I went out and had a few drinks and a nice meal with Madde and some of her friends. It certainly is an international group here. Friday it was Naja (born in Denmark but grew up in Norway), Sam her Australian boyfriend and Sergei the Russian Mexican who lived in Canada and Spain. Few pints, bit of food, drinks and dancing - the usual Friday night thing.

Saturday Mad had a paper to write so I went off on my own to do a bit of sightseeing. As usual I forgot my camera so you will just have to take my word for it that I saw The Little Mermaid and the Kings residences, some cool statues and a very cute little street with people selling Christmas stuff from festively decorated little huts. Copenhagen is a beautiful city but bigger than I thought and I was grumpy because I walked my but off and my feet hurt. But what better way to see a place? Apparently all the stores close at 5:00pm on weekdays so everyone has to shop on Saturdays it was sooooo busy. It made Oxford Street at Christmas seem deserted. That m,ade me grumpy too. I got Sally's present at the store I mentioned. Very cool - lets hope she likes it.

Saturday night we went to the Museum Erotica. I dunno not much to tell really a few old pots with sex scenes painted on them, a few playboys pictures, a room dedicated to Marilyn Monroe(?!?!) and a room showing porn movies. Bit seedy really. Alicia (Peru) and Eustace (Indian Portuguese) came along and we ended up in an Irish pub talking to Norwegians, Finns and a guy from Ghana. Very international weekend.

We have taken it easy today. Sorry for the typing errors on these last two posts. I am using Madde's computer with its Swedish keyboard and everything is in a different place. Also, it has al these extra weird keys - Ö ä å Ä Å.

Friday, November 26, 2004

Live from Denmark...

it's Friday night. I am updating my blog from the field for the very first time. Cool eh?

Well, I survived my leaving do - barely. It was a great time but one or two too many glasses of red wine were consumed. We ended up at a Salsa bar. There were some amazing dancers there. I had a very interesting ride home with a Nigerian taxi driver. The at 7:oo am the taxi to take me to the airport showed up 15 minutes early. The driver was met at the door by a very scary, probably still slightly drunk, wet hair have me telling him I needed 10 more minutes. Apparently I was sufficiently scary because he didn't argue and didn't speak to me too much during the ride. I kept my hand over my mouth while checking in and the nice SAS people let me on the plane!

The saga continued with the taxi driver here. He insisted on showing me on the map where we were and where we were going while driving down the motorway in the rain at 110kph. He then went on to lecture me on Danish politics and history, atleast I think that's what it was as his accent was pretty incomprehensible. I just smiled and nodded and laughed when he did. I also took care not to make any sudden movements. Why do I attract them - first there was the geology guy telling me the benefit of Nova Scotia shale then the guy in PEI who told me how much money he was going to get for every injury he had from crashing his car - apparently a plate in your head is worth $20,000. Am I just a freak magnet? I won't even mention the lady at Ealing Hospital.

Madde and I took a walk around Copenhagen then had lunch and went to the Tivoli Gardens. We waited until after dark in order to see all the lights. It was gorgeous but unfortunately I didn't have my camera. The coolest thing was the music park - there are all different musical (drums and xylophones) instruments for people to play with - really fun. We also ate some funny timbit/donut hole type things with jam and icing sugar called Aebleskiver.

I also found the coolest shop in the whole world but I can't tell you about it because I am thinking of getting Sal's Christmas present from there. It is brilliant though so someone needs to remind me to write about it after Christmas.

Madde and I are off soon to meet some of her friends for a drink. I am not sure if I can face it -I am fading fast and really just want my bed.

Thursday, November 18, 2004

Well, The Weather Outside..

is frightful and the couch is sooo delightful. It is a gray horrible cold day here. Admittedly it is not anything like cold snowy Canada but it is still crappy. The most strenuous thing I have done today is think about taking a bath. The pattern at the moment seems to be one day of action, one day of sloth. Not sure if this is good.

I had a word with Sally about her blog the other night. You know the whole letting down the team thing. Apparently, she has lots to say but has forgotten her username and password! We tried to sort it last night and hopefully she will have updates soon - don't give up on her. You can however, give up on Madde because she is crap.

In the meantime, check out Jen Farmer's blog for notes from Turner Valley - http://peijen.blogspot.com/

Monday, November 15, 2004

Ladies Who Lunch

Survived my first proper day of unemployment. Got up early and finished painting Sally's bedroom (we got most of it done over the weekend). Was planning on running some errands when Nadine called and invited me to go shopping. How could I resist an offer of shopping? Met up with Nadine and David at Sloane Square and off we went. Shopped a bit, ate lunch, shopped some more, had a couple of cocktails, shopped some more, had dinner, went for a pint. Fabulous way to spend a day but probably not a good idea for someone who is unemployed. It was fascinating to be in some of London's more expensive shops on a Monday afternoon surrounded by ladies who lunch. My jeans and sweater didn't really compare!

Must find cheaper ways to fill my days. Any suggestions?

Friday, November 12, 2004

All Done

I am now officially unemployed. Oh my God! I was definitely feeling queasy this morning when I got up and checked my e-mail for the last time. I went to Reading and all went well handing back all my stuff. It only took 4 people to hold me down while Jackie pried the car keys from my hand. I did; however, clear the entire carriage on the train back with my fetal position and keening - My caaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrr, they toooook my caaarrrrrrrrr. My baby.



Monday, November 08, 2004

It Shall Be Done

Wow, I am a bit shaky. I just signed the papers for my redundancy. It is really weird, I am happy about it but I feel really nervous and scared.

Don't Light My Fire

Rant 10 - Forgive me, I am a little bit tired and groggy this morning. I have been kept awake all weekend. As you are already aware, Friday (5 November) is a landmark day because it is Angela's birthday. However, you may not have been aware that it is also the day Guy Fawkes tried to blow up the British Houses of Parliament in the Gunpowder Plot of 1605. In order to celebrate this treason, the wacky Brits light huge bonfires and burn an effigy of Guy Fawkes. In more recent years this has expanded to setting off fireworks as well. Bonfire night as it is called should have been celebrated on Friday but as it is a weekend there were also celebrations on Saturday and Sunday and as fireworks were involved people have been setting them off in their own backyards for about 2 weeks. I like fireworks. When I lived in Canada and only saw them a couple of times a year, I loved fireworks. There is nothing better than spending a summer evening in the Historic Properties or Victoria Park watching a fireworks display. But listening to people set them off every 10 minutes is a bit of overkill. I am definitely of the opinion that you can get too much of this good thing. Bah humbug to fireworks.

Saturday, November 06, 2004

Ben and Me or is that Benistine?

Becca, Sally and I went on a mammoth shopping spree today. We went to the outdoor outlet mall in Portsmouth (Gunwharf Quays) - it was great. I spent a fortune but got lots of Christmas presents. Then in an effort to even thing out, I had to buy some presents for myself. So, I went a little crazy in HMV. I bought 6 DVD's and just realised now that Ben Affleck is in all of them! That is a little scary isn't it? I went on a Kevin Smith bender and got Mallrats, Chasing Amy, Dogma, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back and Jersey Girl plus Dazed and Confused. So, all I need is for someone to buy me Clerks for Christmas and I am set (hint, hint).

Thursday, November 04, 2004

Ahhhhhhhhh Denial

Today is a new day. My blood pressure is back to normal, I have stopped muttering and cursing to myself and kicking over random objects. I have decided that yesterday did not happen and plan to live the next 4 years in denial. It is amazing how liberating this decision is. Now all I need to do is avoid newspapers, tv, radio, the internet and talking politics for four years. You have all been warned and had better help me.

Wednesday, November 03, 2004

What Can I Say?

I can't print the first words that came out of my mouth this morning when I turned on the TV. Sally thought I had cut off an appendage or something. I don't know the international symbol for disgust but hope that Augh/Grrrrrr/Hmmmmm/*$&&!!@@ suffices. At this point in time, there is still a slim chance that Kerry will win but even if he does I will be disappointed. I just don't understand how it can be so close.

Update at 11:00am - Why I am watching this? It is like picking at a scab. It hurts but I can't stop. I try to change the channel but I can't. Is it the optimist or the masochist in me?

Update at 4:15pm - Shit!

Tuesday, November 02, 2004

Who's Who?

I just realised that while I know everyone I mention on the website not everyone who reads this does. So, here is a rough guide to my network;

UK;

Sally (English) is my current flatmate. She works in PR and her boyfriend is Brian (Irish). Madde (Swedish) is my ex-flatmate and is now studying for her MBA in Copenhagen. Josh (Aussie) works at the pub (Racing Page) we go to and is staying with Sal and I. Shaun (Canadian) is my cousin who lives over here with her husband Ed (English) and her two sons Edmund and Michael (English/Canadian). Catrin (Welsh) is a friend who worked with me at Compaq and came back to hp but is now leaving again. Chris (English) and Dave (American) are friends who got married earlier this year. Becca (American) is a fabulous crazy American who makes midnight trips to Asda (Walmart) with me to feel more like we are at home – her boyfriend is Paul (English). I met Laura (Canadian) in Vancouver and now she lives in Battersea with her flatmate Courtney (Aussie). I may have mentioned random friends from the pub - Dom, Simon, female Sam (all English), Matt and Chris (Aussie), other female Sam (Welsh), Keith (American). Other honourable mentions are Stu (South African), Shane, Sean, Junior and Alex (English) and Nadine (Canadian) who all worked with me at Compaq.

Canada;

Mom, Dad, Mike, Peter, and Jillian are my immediate family. Dad’s sister is Penny (Bob and Samantha) and his brother is John (Caroline, Laurie and Reg). Mom’s family is too huge to mention in one entry so I will leave it at the ones listed under the UK. Angela is my fabulous friend who makes me do scary, crazy things and spends all my money. Michelle is one of my best friends in PEI and has 2 kids Keila and TJ and a great husband Robbie. Steve is in Vancouver and is my very observant GBF (look it up) - he keeps me sane (well as sane as possible). Lana is a friend from university who now works with Troy.

Other;

Derryth (South African) used to work with me at Compaq. Angela and I went to her wedding when we were in Pietermaritzburg. Caroline (South African) just left the UK earlier this to move back to Johannesburg. Scott (Aussie) another friend from Compaq lives in Canberra with his wife Nina (English). They have some stories to tell after 2 years on Ivory Coast!

Anyway, I think that covers most people who will get a mention, if I forgot anyone sorry. If I add anyone, they will just get an explanation on the day.

Monday, November 01, 2004

Bits and Bobs

Madde made it back to Copenhagen in one piece. I am going to visit her for a week on 24 November. I have never been to Copenhagen before (well, except the airport and the train line on the way to Sweden but that doesn't count) so I am looking forward to it.

We went to see Finding Neverland while Madde was here. It was really good - I highly recommend it. If you are not considering seeing it or wavering, let me tell you Johnny Depp all clean cut with a Scottish accent is not to be missed.

The Halloween party on Saturday was fantastic. I am waiting to get the pictures back before giving a proper update but there were some great costumes including Dom as a pre-staked vampire, a proper Ghostbuster, tons of witches, Jason, Freddy, death, devils etc. Much drink was consumed, much dancing took place and everyone went home with a smile.

Lana has sent me the link to her blog - check her out at www.fernethoughts.blogspot.com. Very cool that everyone is blogging. Troy gave Lana my blog address. Glad he did but am wondering when he plans to update his site. Hunter's Hotspot is suffering from hypothermia.

Only 11 more days until I am unemployed! I have bowed to pressure and am having a leaving party. I kind of wanted to make a quiet exit but am being told that is not an option. Therefore, no one is allowed to contact me on Friday 19 November as I will be recovering from my party.

It may be Catrin's leaving do as well, she has found a new job. I like to think I inspired her but I think the credit can be taken by the crappy atmosphere and mind numbing process driven beast that is hp. She is moving to a property company owned by twin millionaires! Sounds great! Congrats to her.

I just watched Little Britain, I am not sure if it is being shown in Canada but it is fantastically funny. It is a comedy sketch show about the quirkiness of Brits. I think I may have lived here too long and am developing a British sense of humour. God help me.

Speaking of God, if he has any mercy at all Bush will lose tomorrow (sorry Dave). I can't face another four years of George W but then Dead Ringers (UK Air Farce but much funnier) do do him well. Have you heard that Britney Spears is backing Bush? I am sure he is hoping that she help him win the white trash vote. He may get everyone who aspires to have a track suit wearing, pole dancing, hamburger and fried chicken eating wedding voting for him (Peter and Jillian how could you have missed these out at your wedding?).

Sally Land

Sally has finally succumbed to the pressure and created her own blog - check it out www.sallyland.blogspot.com. The only problem with this is that if she writes all her news, what will I write about? I can no longer live vicariously through her achievements. Oh well, I had better get a life, eh?