I Like Mike

Discovery Real Time is showing back to back episodes of Holmes on Holmes everyday at noon! I am so happy.

P.S. No one is to mention the name of the new PM to me as my blood pressure goes through the roof. I have already ranted enough on the matter and only hope he will be tempered by the other parties.

I Don't Know How All Of You Do It

I worked for Sally's company today and it almost killed me. I am dead tired and all I did was scan and print stuff!! Imagine when I have a real job!

RIP Lumpy

I am sad to report that while I was away over Christmas, Lumpy received the Royal Flush. He or she is survived by his or her tankmate Jacko.

Old Skool

While waiting for my taxi at Heathrow this morning I saw Robert Townsend. If you know who he is, you are not only Old Skool, you are old!

Post Christmas Cheer

I realise that Christmas has come and gone but I think this is one of the best Christmas stories I have ever heard. It needs to be told. Of course, the names have been changed to protect the innocent and the guilty…

It begins with two children. Let’s call them Hansel and Gretel. Hansel is 8 and still believes in Santa Claus. Gretel is 11 and is a bit unsure but thinks she won’t get any presents if she doesn’t believe.

One evening a week or so before Christmas, Hansel calls the radio station to speak to Santa (seriously, you can do that in Hansel and Gretel land). Miracle of miracles, he gets through. While waiting to go on air, he asks Gretel if she wants to speak to Santa or wants him to ask for anything for her. “No, I am too old and I can’t think of anything to ask for except I need some new underwear but don’t say that.” (See where this is going yet?) Hansel has a lovely chat with Santa and proceeds to tell him what he wants. Right before he hangs up, he says “Oh and my sister, Gretel, would like new underwear because all hers have skidmarks.”

Santa and Radio Announcer dissolve in a fit of laughter. Gretel is dumbstruck. Mom is screaming “Hansel, hang up that phone right now.” Gretel then starts to outline how she is going to kill Hansel and Mom is standing by thinking – I can’t really stop her as I would do the same thing in her place.

Luckily for Gretel this event was followed by two snow days and Hansel never said his last name on air.

The Long Awaited Rant 15

New Year's Eve - not a big fan myself. Somehow whenever I make an effort it always seems to go wrong. 37 hours spent waiting for a cab home, drunken screaming match with best friend on Richmond Street at 1:30am, long cold walk to boring pub where I was way too sober and very overdressed and the return trip involved a fall and ripping of panty hose followed by visit from very drunken neighbour, getting separated from the group and passing the night singing the Sound of Music with a bunch of strangers (ok that one was kinda fun as we had a bottle of champagne). So last night I settled in for what I thought was a Supernatural marathon on TV. Watched one epidose and Andromeda came on - not even an old one with the cute guy. At that point, I hit the Bailey's. After consuming the entire 1 drink left in the bottle, I spent the rest of the night watching crap tv and suffering through an allergy attack (non Bailey's related I am sure). Woooooo hoooo, good times, good times.

Rock on 2006.