I'll Overlook The Starbucks Thing

My World Includes Starbucks

You know all those people who say Starbucks is taking over the world (you are probably one of them), well they (or you) are wrong. Or, their (or your) world map does not include Africa. Get out your tissues and get your sympathy vibes ready - I had to go a whole week without Starbucks. I kept my eyes peeled, frantically serarching, I went to 3 different airports and a fancy American type hotel but nada. I have been back for 4 days and seem to have recovered but I fear permanent damage may have been done.

All Around My Argggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhh

For weeks (I am not exaggerating) I have had an Irish Descendants song trapped in my head and it will not go away. I am tired of people staring at me as I randomly sing about the green willow I wear around my (non-existant) hat for my (non-existant) true love.

Those probably aren't even the right words. Any suggestions on how to save my sanity?

Third Time's A Charm

It has only taken 3 trips to the Southern Hemisphere for me to remember to watch the water swirl down the drain the other way. I remembered yesterday afternoon in the office but it is very modern - the toilets didn't swirl and the sink had no basin just a slanted slab thingy. So when we got back to the hotel, I tried the toilet. No luck, another powerful no swirl thing. Oh well, I thought - maybe next trip. But then - aha, I spied the bathtub and victory was mine. Eureka, hallelujah, cowbunga dude! But really, it was only some water swirling the other way. Atleast, I can say I have seen it though.

Oooohh It Burns Part Deux

So we are having another heat wave. Luckily I am in Africa so I will miss most of it - would you ever think to say I am going to Africa where it is cooler! But unfortunately, I have not escaped unscathed. On my way to the airport yesterday I looked out the bus window and saw a van parked on the side of the road. As the driver climbed out I would have sworn it was Randy, well except he was not wearing white trousers and his belly was bigger.

Word To The Wise

Unless you want to make a contribution to the Halifax International Airport Security Christmas Party like I did, pack any homemade wine you plan to travel with in your checked baggage. I only lost one bottle but apparently the day before, a lady lost five. They should have a good one this year!

My Eyes, My Eyes, Ooooohh It Burns

We’re having a heat wave. I mean stinking hot as hell heat wave and I need it to be over.

• Is it because my new flat gets the sun all day and is like a desert torture chamber? No (but it is).
• Is it because there is not enough water on the planet to keep my hydrated at the moment? No (but there isn’t).
• Is it because I almost passed out on the tube yesterday from the BO? No (but I did).
• Is it because I am a walking zombie because it is so hot I cannot sleep? No (but I can’t).

No, no, no, no. It is because I looked out of my kitchen window the other day and saw my elderly neighbour walking around his flat in his underwear. My kitchen window looks down on his and when I was getting one of my zillion glasses of water, I happened to look down and see him. Yes, I realise that he was walking around his own flat minding his own business but it has to stop. If I ever do fall asleep, I will have nightmares.