Post Christmas Cheer

I realise that Christmas has come and gone but I think this is one of the best Christmas stories I have ever heard. It needs to be told. Of course, the names have been changed to protect the innocent and the guilty…

It begins with two children. Let’s call them Hansel and Gretel. Hansel is 8 and still believes in Santa Claus. Gretel is 11 and is a bit unsure but thinks she won’t get any presents if she doesn’t believe.

One evening a week or so before Christmas, Hansel calls the radio station to speak to Santa (seriously, you can do that in Hansel and Gretel land). Miracle of miracles, he gets through. While waiting to go on air, he asks Gretel if she wants to speak to Santa or wants him to ask for anything for her. “No, I am too old and I can’t think of anything to ask for except I need some new underwear but don’t say that.” (See where this is going yet?) Hansel has a lovely chat with Santa and proceeds to tell him what he wants. Right before he hangs up, he says “Oh and my sister, Gretel, would like new underwear because all hers have skidmarks.”

Santa and Radio Announcer dissolve in a fit of laughter. Gretel is dumbstruck. Mom is screaming “Hansel, hang up that phone right now.” Gretel then starts to outline how she is going to kill Hansel and Mom is standing by thinking – I can’t really stop her as I would do the same thing in her place.

Luckily for Gretel this event was followed by two snow days and Hansel never said his last name on air.